Someone you care about is worried about debt: how to be useful

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When a friend or someone in your family tells you they’re worried about debt, it can be hard to know what to say next. Start by asking what kind of help they want. They may want to talk, work through one awkward task or find someone qualified to advise them.

You don’t need their balances or account access to offer that first bit of support. Give them room to explain what they choose to share, then agree on something you can realistically do.

Ask before you start solving it

You could say, “Would it help to talk about it, or is there something you’d like a hand with?” If they want to talk, let them finish before suggesting a budget, an app or a way to repay the debt. Ask about what is difficult now instead of asking them to justify every earlier purchase.

Keep the conversation private and ask only for information needed for the help they’ve requested. Moneysmart’s guidance for supporting an older parent, relative or friend emphasises starting small, respecting choices and keeping the person involved in their own financial decisions. Those are useful boundaries when offering help to another adult, too.

Offer one task they can accept or decline

A specific offer gives them something to respond to. You could offer to sit with them while they read a letter they’ve chosen to open, help write down questions for a bill provider, or find the official contact details for a financial counselling service. Let them choose the task and how much they want you involved.

If they’d like company during a call, agree beforehand whether they want you to listen or help take notes. They can ask the organisation what permission it needs before it speaks with you. Helping with a conversation does not mean taking over their account or making decisions for them.

Leave passwords, PINs and security codes with the account holder. If there’s something neither of you understands, write it down as a question for the provider or a qualified adviser instead of guessing.

Words you can adapt

These are suggested conversation starters. Choose the one that fits what they’ve asked for.

Make it easier to reach qualified help

A financial counsellor can help someone understand their position, work through bills and debt, and negotiate with creditors. Financial counselling is free and confidential. It does not replace legal advice, so someone facing legal action should seek legal help promptly. Moneysmart explains what financial counsellors can do.

You can offer the National Debt Helpline number, 1800 007 007, or help them find its live chat and current opening hours. Its counsellors don’t lend money or sell financial products. If the person wants to make contact on their own, leave them with the details rather than asking for an account of the conversation afterwards.

Be clear about your own limits as well. You can offer practical support without lending money. Financial Counselling Victoria’s guide to helping a friend in a financial crisis discusses this distinction. Only offer time or help that you can follow through on.

Let them set the next conversation

If they decline, accept the answer. You can ask whether they would like you to check in another time, then follow what you agree. If they come back later, ask what would be useful now. They may need something different from the help you first offered.